good morning.  it's a bit past my bedtime, but the roast beef sub i had at midnight keeps returning (it's the onions).  so i tweak.  all night i tax blogger's web servers with tiny template alterations and style sheet touchups.  i am insatatiably curious, but lazy and undisciplined -- a combo that leaves me comfortably unsatisfied.  not comfortably numb; i don't want to lose my curiosity, i just don't persue it, much. 

staying up all night is not so bad -- it keeps me out of the world and away from... from people?  so i post a weblog.  this really is like mumbling in the subway: know me know me know me know me know me know me know me, but... don't come near me.  those wild-haired subway lunatics and i have a lot in common; we're all stuck in isolated prison cells aware of the world and unable to engage it, aware of each other down the halls or through the walls, and gaining some half-assed sense of companionship from that, and always afraid to be released.  "don't hate me cuz i'm beautiful," i hear the pretty boys on the street call out to each other in mock indignation, disembodied voices intruding through steel-barred windows, and sometimes i want to lift myself and glance at life, sometimes i don't. 

i don't hate you cuz you're beautiful.  i hate me.

alright, 'nuff a-that.  time to take a nap, reset the neuro-chemicals to a better place.  time has turned us again to face the sun, and i need get me cheerful for that, or for what's left of it after i awake.  good night.